Arranging a Marriage by Choice

Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

Concept of Marriage in Islam
Islam is a moderate religion. Islam recognizes human needs...even the most pious need marriage. Islam puts excitement into marriage. Reasons why divorce rates are high are because couples have high expectations from watching Bollywood/Hollywood movies. They misinterpret marriage.

Islam puts excitement into marriage. Why we shouldn't watch soap operas or movies...it will deter marriage. Marriage is tranquility or peacefulness. Marriage is Ibadah (form of worship). There are only two forms of ibadah are: 1) Iman 2) marriage.

Muslims should get married to please God. It has everything to do with Islam like salah, hajj or even zakaat. We should have the intentions of getting married for God. Sexual relations is an act of sadaqah (charity) just like saying subhanallah & alhamdulillah are all sadaqah. Marriage is Sunnah and you can help one another reach piety and become closer to God.

There are 3 verses from the Quran that are mentioned in the nikkahs khutba. One is from Surah Nisa, Surah Hizam (???) and the other (???). The word marriage is not even mentioned in these surahs, but they all contain the Taqwa (rememberance of God) and a need of piety. Live life in guidance as nikah is ibadah. Make sure you pick your spouse on piety and have a fear of God. Islam has made marriage simple but we have made it difficult because of its simplicity, we just need two witnesses to approve of a marriage.

Dowry is conditional not a prerequisite. Khattab R.A said,"Prophet SAW did not pay dowry". Sahabas never mentioned their nikkah to the Prophet SAW and he never complained. He just sent his baraqah and said to make sure there is a valimah with a feast of a whole goat.

If a good offere comes along to your children then do not delay or else there will be tribulations in the future.

Different types of Marriage
Arrange Marriage - parents hook up and arrange. Never random.
Forced Marraige - HARAM. Condemned, not allowed in Islam. Not permissable to force it is even written in a hadith. Must ALWAYS seek permission.

Prophet SAW had consulted his daughter Fatima that Ali is proposing to her and that she had the choice. Always do Istikhara and seek guidance. If the other party is not practicing then you have the right to deny.

To parents: make it easy to marry for your children.