Family Quarrels

The following is a lecture by Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari from RIS.

Why family members fight?
kinship, if family's are are united and healthy and believed in one then there will be no family quarrels. Should reconcile between people. Making peace is like a raqaat.

tail bearer (two faced) = biggest sin

The only reason one can lie is to your spouse. It is in a hadith (i.e your wife calls and you answer by saying "yes i have been thinkin of you all day"). Make peace with your brother.

Cause of Friction
1) No right intention - actions according to intentions. Being polite.

Best ingredient to being prosperous? Dont expect anything good from others. If they do then take it as a bonus.

2) Selfish, Self Centered - need quality of Eesa (Jesus) A.S of "putting our selves in other peoples boots". When people want their own rights. "Even when people are hungry they give preference to other people" = Eesa A.S.
Eethar = taking hardship for someone else.

3) Always interacting with everyone, with work people or school mates. Having your feeling hurts is natural and you should always exercise "sabr" (patience). Also control your anger. Do not become angry.
Sabr = controls anger and conflicts. It does not come easy you must work at it. Sabr is at the moment of "hard times", when you can control your anger at that exact moment.

Must make sure you deal with one another as strangers (ie. when dealing with transactions with one another) but live like brothers.

Be very clear cut when dealing with inheritance. After decease share your will! Will will cause troubles in the years to come. Do not consume wealth in large.

4) Avoid ridiculing other people.
-do not mock
-if you do then have a limit
-it is a big sin (haram)

Seek forgiveness from Allah SWT about the ones feelings we have hurt. It is better in this life than the here after. Owe people their money back if you are in debt. If you are unable to reach the person you want to talk or ask for forgiveness from then make a dua for them.